Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
