Swine flu. Run for my life!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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