Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
PANTIES FOUND
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