Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
