I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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