If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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