Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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