what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
