So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize