That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
