You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
