The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
