Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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