chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize