Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
