U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
