We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
