I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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