I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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