I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
