I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
