Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
