Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
