Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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