Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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