We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sorry my hands just texted you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
