I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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