shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize