Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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