I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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