trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
