Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
