actually, I'm a sock model
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
