Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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