Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
