rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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