yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
