Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
