The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
