ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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