Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
