I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
