Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
