i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
