Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
