i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
