when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
