That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
