I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize