remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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