Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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