Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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