And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
