I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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