Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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