We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
