from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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