No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
