Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
