I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
