You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
