Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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