As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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