don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
