He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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