I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
