I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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