I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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